Today will be a short one. I used a lot of gas yesterday and am recovering.
Short ones, tall ones, big ones little ones, we all have mothers of varying sizes, temperaments and loves. They have formed and shaped us within their bodies and moved us from beyond the veil and into this realm. What a beautiful and astounding miracle this process is. We may take it for granted at times because it is so common. Should we pause and sit with the fact that we were once in a tummy and now we are grown adults, we can truly appreciate the beauty of this life, connect deeper with the journey of our own mothers.
Simply said it is no easy task to be a mother. The amount of time, energy, attention and love that a growing baby needs is prodigious. Children are bundles of joy and exploration that need much tending and nourishment. What a gift it is that we have a a portion of our species, women, who are willing to undergo this process and to lovingly rear our youth. I am so very grateful for the women in my life and for my own Mother. They are each examples of Christ-like love and compassion. I hope to be more like them in this regard.
All the Love,
Ryan Orion
Fasting Notes:
I have a new wind as I round closer to the end of this fast. I still remind myself that today and every day is in fact day one. “Today is day one.” I am reminded of the story of Odysseus who took a nap right before reaching home after years of sea travel. One of his sailors played with the bag that held the four winds. Once released, the winds blew them back to near where they had started and they began the trek home again.
I had a similar moment yesterday and am now caught between two promises to myself. I stood up too fast yet again and near passed out. I sat down hard and caught myself, so it was not as dramatic as the night with the head wound. I have a small lump that is still healing. After night 20 with the bleeding and minor concussion, I promised to quit if I passed out again, but now that I am this close it feels like a greater betrayal to myself to stop now. I am encouraged to think about the promises I make to myself and to think about things in context. If yesterday had been more violent or dangerous I would have of course stopped, but a small head bump is a reminder to maintain focus until I reach land again. I am learning from Odysseus.
On a strange note, I pooped for the first time in over three weeks. It is odd how something simple like that can bring such joy and grounding. A practice like using the restroom is something I had almost forgotten about until it returned. I bring it up because there is actually some powerful spiritual significance. After I voided, I felt intense peace. It felt like a spirit of discontent had left me.
I reflected on it further and it feels like the spirit of cow meat and milk is gone. Over the past few days, people around me have been talking about and eating ice cream a lot. This is something I used to love and have had no desire to eat for a while. While sitting, I would randomly smell sausage and think of eating sausage and hamburgers. After I pooped, it felt like all of that left. After two days of smelling, thinking about and craving things like that, it all vanished and I felt at peace. The sensation has been quite profound. It feels like a a turning point on the journey and I am excited for another day, day one.
Photo:
Ryan Orion 
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