This afternoon I was chopping up some olives for my kids’ snack. Don’t ask me how any child likes olives, but mine love them. I sliced and diced and juice got on my hands, and I caught myself in an old habit. Normally I would have licked the little bit of juice off of my palm. Normally I would have popped an olive or two or three into my mouth as I prepared for snack time. Today I paused and looked at my hand with a mild panic. I had completely forgotten what to do in this situation without using my mouth. It took me a moment to realize that my hands would just be juicy until I grabbed a towel. It brings to mind my daily habits.
For the sake of clarity, we’ll call a habit anything that we do consistently whether it be intentional or unintentional. The juice licking bit for me was at first an intentional habit, as I had decided years ago that it is a great option for cleaning. It became a background pattern as I stopped thinking about it. A lot of our habits are like this. They are like bits of codes we programmed once over a few days or weeks with some adjustments, and then let them run. It is a system that works well, and releases are thinking mind to focus on adding in new programs while old ones run.
The question for us is this, our these habits intentional, or unintentional? Now we know an intentional one is one that we programmed ourselves, but what about unintentional ones? Those are the ones given to us by others, or ones we created but aren’t fully aware of. They can be as simple as which shoe you put on first, or needing to be fully naked to use the potty. They can be kind of silly and somewhat serious in cases of self harm or abuse.
We are constantly programming ourselves with both. The game is to decide which ones you want to empower and which ones you want to cut the funding for. For me, the best way to begin a conscious habit is to do the task twice a day for 5 minutes a day at least, with no pressure or requirement. If it takes longer than 5, that’s okay, but I only owe it 5. Twice a day is important at first because we’re building new pathways in our brains to allow for this habit to run on. We do not fully know where our love of drawing is going to take us, so at first we just do it and create the base for it to grow.
Beginning one is about intentionally setting the bar as low as it can go. We are not setting ourselves up from any kind of comparison or failure in this. The bare minimum is enough, anything extra is wonderful. Another example is someone trying to start running. The first thing to do is put on the shoes. That’s it. Find a pair of shoes that are your “running shoes” and put them on. That’s all you have to do that day. You might feel kind of silly there, so the momentum gets you out the door. Great, that’s enough. The next day, the bar is still just the running shoes. Until you’ve done it three of four times, do not change the expectation on yourself. Each time you surpass it you feel like a winner. You will naturally start putting on the shoes, going for a walk, and then start out running. At each phase you are carrying the momentum of the last win with you.
In my time in the military I never once truly considered making my bed. I had the benefit of not living in barracks and avoided bunk inspections. My many years of “You can’t tell me what to do” attitude had not fully eased off. Lately I have had the desire to appreciate my room as I enter which meant making my bed. The standard was not quite making the bed as much as laying under the covers upon waking, star fishing them to the corners as best I can, and wiggling my way out. It did not look great, but I would give it a thumbs up and head out the door. In the military we would have said “That’s good enough for government work.”
Standards. We create them. As we grow in our habits, our expectations of ourselves and our capabilities to meet them grow. When we do not meet these standards it is naturally painful. On the other hand if our standards our consistently way too low, we feel little satisfaction. The balance is to have appropriate challenges in our new habit, so that we grow, but not so much that we provide opportunities for the inner critic to start beating up on us. Start easy as you begin and then add some more.
We release unintentional habits by first recognizing them, and consciously choosing something else when the moment arises. We may miss our first opportunity to wipe our hands instead of lick them, it maybe be the next, but each time we are aiming to see the habit before it happens or as it happens and not after it happens. This puts the power into our hands. As the habit is triggered by a stimulus of some kind, we then choose what it is we want to do instead of running an old program. We are the programmers. We are the Creator.
All the Love,
Ryan Orion
Fasting Notes:
Today was a great day for laying around in pajamas. I did not do that but it might have been nice. It was and is a great reminder that as my energy is based more and more on conservation, that I need to slow down. Simple things like getting up from a chair or my bed, take a few more seconds here and there. Chores equally take more time. It is in the slowness that I find more of my joy though. Constantly rushing has left me with scarred hands and bruised knees.
It feels like another shedding cycle. I Can feel aches and pains coming up, but they feel as if they are the body and psyche letting go of the old. When I feel this congestion, it usually clears in a day or two before the cycle begins again. My shoulder is healing. I feel it moving closer to my body and it feels more like me. I do not know if that makes sense, but it feels closer to home. The connections that are being established are potent, as I feel the changes every day.
Ryan Orion 
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