So many times I have been presented with opportunities and thought, “nah not what I was asking for.” When in fact. That was precisely what I was asking for. I was too limited in my perspective at the moment to see it for what it is. This reminds me of the story from a Pursuit of Happiness. The story is told by a son to his father, “A man was drowning in the ocean and prays to be saved by God. A boat comes by and starts to try and pull him out and the man says ‘No, my God will save me.’ The boat goes on. Another boat comes by and starts to try and pull him out and he says, ‘No, my God will save me.’ The boat goes on. A third boat comes by and starts to try and pull him out of the water and he says ‘No, my God will save me. The boat goes on. The man drowns. He’s at the pearly gates and sees St. Peter and asks ‘Hey, I asked for your help and you didn’t show!’ St Peter replies,’ We sent you three boats you dummy.’
In our desires right now we can miss out on the opportunities gifted to us because we expect some grand orchestration, or push it away because it is not exactly what we asked for. This is the difference between looking and seeing. When we look, we are identifying something that has been suggested to us, either by ourselves or another with “find the right song to play.” In this looking for a song to play we are not seeing all of the other possibilities. Perhaps the mood and setting require silence. Perhaps we find the song immediately but think it is too easy and pass it on by. There is a great mountain of potential that can fill that space and is readily available to us when we listen and see instead.
In seeing something we allow for all of the data to move through us before we decide. We are not limited by imposed criteria, but are feeling for the fullest expression of what it is we are experiencing, whether that be a sound, taste, or sight. When we see, we see the whole picture. When we look we only see parts of the picture.
In the struggles we have,and in the questions we explore, are we in a place of looking or seeing?
For me recently is have been a whole lot of looking. A whole lot of “I want this, if it’s not that I’m not doing it” type of energy. What a way to alienate yourself from friend, family, and fun. Not only has this this made it harder for me to progress, or accept those opportunities coming in, its also made me less enjoyable to be around as a person as I whine at the boats (friends) passing by, the whole time offering nuggets of advice to return me back to my seeing mode.
This struggle in the water as the swimmer is only let go of when there is a deep release of ego and desire. It is in that release, of letting the water go above our heads that we have the chance to experience true surrender. This is not a call for mass suicide, but of realizing, “Hey maybe I don’t have to fight the entire ocean. Maybe there is another way.”
Looking for a miraculous event to save us from the water implies the miracle isn’t here. In truth all of creation is one miracle after another. What a miracle it is to have hair that grows out of my head. What a miracle it is that I have lips and a tongue to form words as well as a voice and a mind to empower them. What a miracle it is that there are three boats going by in the middle of the ocean! SEEING is appreciating all of the miracles we have around us already and letting them take us for the journey.
I am grateful for the many people who have helped me along this path, and especially those who have returned sight to my eyes by reminding me I can take off my looking glasses.
All The Love,
Ryan Orion
Fasting Notes:
Today was quite action packed for me and I am genuinely surprised how much energy I have had to work with other people and to do the things that I love while exploring this fast. It has been a miracle to see.
I am in general in high spirits and have experienced fewer of the intense swings of “God, why did I do that?” emotional memory outbursts to the ” I am a beautiful being of light.” in the next moment. It has been more steady.
Ryan Orion 
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