Already as I begin this journey I am reminded of why I am taking it. The brain chatter and fears of old are resurfacing to be seen and let go again. I thought I had cleared myself years ago. Healing is wonderful in the fact that it never ends. There is always more healing that can be done.
Some of my initial fears in this are seemingly silly, but reveal to me the amount of collective conditioning and ego based thinking I have chosen to engage in. One fear is the loss of my muscles. For so many years my identity has been based on my strength. It has been based on picking things up and putting them down. This sense of self is fragile and never fully recovered from my first awakening years ago.
More than the muscles, there are smaller things that I genuinely enjoy that the muscles represent. My ability to do yoga in the mornings is in question as I conserve more and more energy. Likewise my love for calisthenics, pull ups and handstands. To go deeper into my sense of Self I attract the parts of divinity that identify beyond physical strength. I aim for the core of power, which is knowing myself as God.
On some technical notes, for those interested in begining long fasts. From experience I have learned that the hardest part is the first three days. After three days the body stops sending hunger pains in the form of Ghrelin, a hormone that triggers our desire for food, and settles down more and more. After those three days, it is more of a constant burn instead of powerful pangs and urges. The steady burn feels similar to amphetamines or caffeine. It is highly stimulating. The body greatly desires nourishment and starts to focus on capacity to get more food. This heightened focus and will power can now be used for anything, writing, singing, video editing. Take breaks as waves of fatigue happen, as the body adjusts to burning external nutrition to burning other forms within the body.
For a long fast, I usually begin it the way I end it. I taper off my food intake as I enter a fast, and eat a little bit as I exit a fast. This is something I do not consciously think about. As I set the intention to fast, it naturally happens. It is important to be in balance as you begin. Any imbalances in the form of diabetes, addictions, auto-immune disorders, and things of this nature, are something to think about. I have not had drugs of any kind leading up to this fast. My body is as prepared as it can be without suffering the major swings of going through withdrawals of other kinds.
Personal note: I am not eating food of any kind for the next 40 days. I am drinking water, and right now I am adding salt to it to help maintain my minerals. I am moving around a good amount still through the first few days, and will be as the weeks go on. As I am called to find more stillness I may no longer need the salt.
All the Love,
Ryan Orion
Ryan Orion 
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